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Is Your Child Clingy, Having Meltdowns When Separated from You, and Not Willing to Go to School Without You?



Separation anxiety is a common and often distressing issue for many families. It can be heart-wrenching to see your child become clingy, have meltdowns when separated from you, or refuse to go to school without you. Understanding separation anxiety and learning effective strategies to manage it can make a significant difference for both you and your child.


Understanding Separation Anxiety


Separation anxiety is a natural part of child development, typically appearing around 8 to 14 months of age and often resurfacing during times of transition, such as starting school. This anxiety stems from a child's fear of being away from their primary caregiver, which is understandable given their strong attachment bonds. While it’s normal for children to experience some degree of separation anxiety, it becomes a concern when it interferes with daily activities and the child's overall well-being.


Signs of Separation Anxiety


Common signs of separation anxiety in children include:


  • Clinginess: Refusing to let go of you, especially during drop-off times at school or daycare.

  • Meltdowns: Having intense emotional outbursts, such as crying, screaming, or tantrums, when you leave.

  • Physical Symptoms: Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling unwell without a medical cause.

  • Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep without you nearby.

  • School Refusal: Reluctance or refusal to attend school or other activities independently.


Coping Strategies for Parents


  1. Establish a Routine: Consistency can provide a sense of security for your child. Develop a predictable routine for drop-offs and pick-ups to help your child know what to expect.

  2. Practice Short Separations: Gradually increase the time you spend apart from your child in a safe and familiar environment. This helps build their confidence that you will always return.

  3. Create a Goodbye Ritual: Develop a special way to say goodbye, such as a hug, kiss, or a secret handshake. This can provide comfort and make the separation less stressful.

  4. Stay Calm and Positive: Your child can pick up on your emotions. If you remain calm and positive, it reassures your child that there is no need to be anxious.

  5. Encourage Independence: Foster your child's independence by allowing them to engage in activities without your direct involvement. Praise their efforts and successes to build their self-confidence.

  6. Communicate with Caregivers: Work closely with teachers, daycare providers, or babysitters to ensure they understand your child’s needs and can provide support during transitions.


The Role of Play Therapy


Play therapy can be an effective tool in helping children manage separation anxiety. Through play, children express their feelings, work through their fears, and develop coping mechanisms in a safe and supportive environment. Play therapists use various techniques, such as role-playing and storytelling, to help children process their emotions and build resilience. By engaging in play therapy, children can gain a sense of control and understanding over their anxiety, making it easier for them to handle separations and transitions.


Our Inclusion in Sassy Mama's Counselling Guide


We are pleased to announce our inclusion in Sassy Mama's Counselling Guide, a trusted resource for parents seeking mental health support for their children. Our team is dedicated to providing compassionate and effective care tailored to each child's unique needs. Additionally, we have partnered with Sassy Mama to offer informative articles and resources to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children with separation anxiety and other mental health concerns. Visit Sassy Mama’s Counselling Guide and our article to learn more about how we can support your child’s mental health journey.


Separation anxiety can be a challenging experience, but with understanding, patience, and the right strategies, you can help your child overcome their fears and build resilience. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and support is available to ensure both you and your child thrive.


Do you think your Teen or Child could benefit from therapy? Speak to a qualified Play therapist to learn how your Teen or Child could benefit from play therapy, Click here to get in touch today, or if you want to know if Play Therapy could be suitable for your Teen or Child, click here to take our quiz!`

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